Only five days until Sept. 14th, the date my kidney transplant is scheduled. It is really an exciting time for me to dream about all the possibilities that the new kidney will bring.
The things I dream about are not having to be tied down to a machine 6 nights a week on dialysis. I have always told people that six nights per week on dialysis didn't seem that bad. But now that there is the possibility of it ending, it is an amazing amount of time that I was on that machine. It almost seems overwhelming to think back about how much time I have had to endure on the couch at our house, but even more so how much time my wife has gone through prepping the machine, waiting while I dialyze, and then the end of the treatment process too.
Don't get me wrong, I am thankful that they technology exists to keep me alive, but will be thankful when I am no longer dependent on that.
I dream about going out in the evening. This is something that I of course used to take for granted. A quick trip to the store to pick up milk, dinner with my wife at a restaurant, going over to a friends house. Even just driving with my headlights on. I love the feeling of warm summer nights with the car window down and the air being pushed through the car, sometimes cheating and putting the heater on to balance the temperature. Ah, I miss that.
I dream of being able to do projects around the house after the kids have gone to bed.
To actually have an evening of reading, with two hands on a book. I used to try to read on dialysis, but it is tough to hold a book with one hand and turn the pages. Not that it is impossible, but it can be challenging, especially when your hand cramps up.
I dream of drinking as much water as I want.
A couple of years ago, before I found out my kidneys weren't working, I worked at an Audio/Visual rental place. One show we had to set up for was, ironically, the National Kidney Foundation Fundraiser. It was on the lot of Warner Bros and it was an easy gig. I remember one of the main speakers at the fundraiser was George Lopez. He tells the story that he needed a kidney and his wife donated one to him and the one thing he was totally amazed by was the amount of energy he suddenly got back. I wonder what that is going to be like. Will the same happen to me? So I dream about energy.
I also dream about surfing more. I have been surfing since I was 12 years old and love it. I love surfing on short boards, long boards and just sitting in the water with friends. But with my kidney failure I just don't have as much energy as I once did. So I dream about the times in the future that I will have paddling out. A great addition is that the donor who is giving me the kidney loves surfing too. Although it is not verified I am hoping that some of the surf "stoke" gets transferred over to me through the kidney.
But some of the dreams that I am most excited about I am not even aware of yet. The new aspects of life that will be revealed to me after the transplant, but in my kidney failed perspective can't even imagine yet. I am sure that many of those dreams will be revealed to me as I go through them.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Now the results from my retest
So I went to the pharmacy last week to pick up my kit to prepare my body for the big retest. I won't go into detail here about the whole endeavor because it is not the most pleasant thing to write about. I would imagine it wouldn't be very pleasant to read about it either, and it especially is not pleasant to go through it!
It does involve fasting for 24 hours, which every time I have had to have a medical fast it has gotten easier and easier to go the 24 hours without eating. But there are certain items that I am allowed to eat and drink during this 24 hours. Any clear liquids like 7-up, sprite, ginger ale and clear broth are allowed up until 4 hours before the test. I was also allowed to eat jello, hard clear candy, and popsicles. However, none of the previously listed can have red in them. I guess that red food coloring could make it appear that there is an inflammation or swelling during the test. So green and orange jello was my snack of choice. A funny thing about jello, besides the wiggling factor, is that is quickly loses its appeal when it is all you can eat.
"Hmmm, I am getting a little hungry. More jello I guess." Never really fun after the third or fourth serving. It is also hard to find popsicles that aren't red. Most of the flavors are fruit punch, strawberry, cherry...all red. There is the occasional orange and green flavor, but at best only 4 of them in a box. I didn't really spend too much time searching stores for lime and orange popsicles. I decided that I could survive the 24 hours on Jolly Ranchers Candy and Ginger Ale.
I don't recommend eating too many Jolly Ranchers in a row though. Biting down on the square piece of candy feels like you have welded your jaw shut and to try to pull your teeth apart only makes it feel like your teeth are about to pop out of socket.
So I went in for my test the following day. I have become so used to going into the hospital that I feel like I could tell others about what to do. Wait in the waiting area for 10 minutes. The nurse comes out with two gowns in hand. I always wondered why the nurses walk out carrying the gowns and not just give them to you once inside the room. It is either because they want the entire waiting room to know that I am about to walk around with my backside hanging out, or because they keep them nice and warm and it temporarily warms their hands from the freezing AC in the exam rooms. Maybe a little bit of both. Next into the locker room to change into my gowns. From the locker room to the prep room for blood pressure, IV hook up, questions and another warm blanket. Then into the procedure room.
My doctor is awesome. He is a nice guy who genuinely cares about his patients. Fortunately they drug me up for the procedure. The last thing I remember is the doctor hooking up an iPod to some speakers and having a song by Nirvana come on. It cracks me up to think that the doctor listens to Nirvana while preforming the test on me.
So I don't know what happens next because I am out. I don't know what drug they give me to knock me out, but I am told that it is if I was blacked out drunk. Still conscious, but no memory. I always tell my wife Sarah to video me when I get home in case something funny happens, but she loves me and doesn't do it. Thanks babe.
However, I guess I was pretty out of it when I came to. It is very much like a dream. Remembering certain parts very clearly, but no memory of other moments. I can remember laying on the bed and the nurse bringing me my bag of clothes. But how and when I got dressed I have no clue. My memory only allows me to have gone from the bed to sitting in a hallway next to Sarah. I remember the doctor showing me pictures of the procedure. And then I was in the car going home. Sarah tells me that when I got in the car, which is a Prius, I commented that I really loved the backup camera that comes on when you put the car in reverse. Then I said "Money in the Bank." I guess I like that backup camera.
She told me about this later and I laughed for quite awhile, because I have no memory whatsoever of that.
The doctor told me that the results of the test looked good and that he was going to recommend to the transplant team to move forward with the transplant. I am so thankful that I remember that part of the conversation! So now it is a waiting game again.
September 7th is the tentative date of the transplant, but I haven't heard from the hospital yet to see if that is correct or not. It is amazing how everything has to come together just perfectly to have a transplant. Everyone's schedule must line up. No one can be sick or have an infection.
In a week or so I will begin a new regimen to stay healthy. Washing hands frequently. A small bottle of hand sanitizer in my pocket at all times. Running away from someone who looks slightly sick or has a cold.
I am so thankful that I know my donor. He is an awesome guy and we talk on the phone all the time. He is extremely patient and seems excited to want to donate his kidney to me. I wonder what that feels like? I am amazed that he is setting his work and home schedule around this amazing gift. Who am I to deserve something like this? I haven't done anything special, I am not a genius who is going to invent something to save the world. I am just a regular guy.
The bible says that the Lord loves a joyful giver. I certainly know someone who the Lord loves!
It does involve fasting for 24 hours, which every time I have had to have a medical fast it has gotten easier and easier to go the 24 hours without eating. But there are certain items that I am allowed to eat and drink during this 24 hours. Any clear liquids like 7-up, sprite, ginger ale and clear broth are allowed up until 4 hours before the test. I was also allowed to eat jello, hard clear candy, and popsicles. However, none of the previously listed can have red in them. I guess that red food coloring could make it appear that there is an inflammation or swelling during the test. So green and orange jello was my snack of choice. A funny thing about jello, besides the wiggling factor, is that is quickly loses its appeal when it is all you can eat.
"Hmmm, I am getting a little hungry. More jello I guess." Never really fun after the third or fourth serving. It is also hard to find popsicles that aren't red. Most of the flavors are fruit punch, strawberry, cherry...all red. There is the occasional orange and green flavor, but at best only 4 of them in a box. I didn't really spend too much time searching stores for lime and orange popsicles. I decided that I could survive the 24 hours on Jolly Ranchers Candy and Ginger Ale.
I don't recommend eating too many Jolly Ranchers in a row though. Biting down on the square piece of candy feels like you have welded your jaw shut and to try to pull your teeth apart only makes it feel like your teeth are about to pop out of socket.
So I went in for my test the following day. I have become so used to going into the hospital that I feel like I could tell others about what to do. Wait in the waiting area for 10 minutes. The nurse comes out with two gowns in hand. I always wondered why the nurses walk out carrying the gowns and not just give them to you once inside the room. It is either because they want the entire waiting room to know that I am about to walk around with my backside hanging out, or because they keep them nice and warm and it temporarily warms their hands from the freezing AC in the exam rooms. Maybe a little bit of both. Next into the locker room to change into my gowns. From the locker room to the prep room for blood pressure, IV hook up, questions and another warm blanket. Then into the procedure room.
My doctor is awesome. He is a nice guy who genuinely cares about his patients. Fortunately they drug me up for the procedure. The last thing I remember is the doctor hooking up an iPod to some speakers and having a song by Nirvana come on. It cracks me up to think that the doctor listens to Nirvana while preforming the test on me.
So I don't know what happens next because I am out. I don't know what drug they give me to knock me out, but I am told that it is if I was blacked out drunk. Still conscious, but no memory. I always tell my wife Sarah to video me when I get home in case something funny happens, but she loves me and doesn't do it. Thanks babe.
However, I guess I was pretty out of it when I came to. It is very much like a dream. Remembering certain parts very clearly, but no memory of other moments. I can remember laying on the bed and the nurse bringing me my bag of clothes. But how and when I got dressed I have no clue. My memory only allows me to have gone from the bed to sitting in a hallway next to Sarah. I remember the doctor showing me pictures of the procedure. And then I was in the car going home. Sarah tells me that when I got in the car, which is a Prius, I commented that I really loved the backup camera that comes on when you put the car in reverse. Then I said "Money in the Bank." I guess I like that backup camera.
She told me about this later and I laughed for quite awhile, because I have no memory whatsoever of that.
The doctor told me that the results of the test looked good and that he was going to recommend to the transplant team to move forward with the transplant. I am so thankful that I remember that part of the conversation! So now it is a waiting game again.
September 7th is the tentative date of the transplant, but I haven't heard from the hospital yet to see if that is correct or not. It is amazing how everything has to come together just perfectly to have a transplant. Everyone's schedule must line up. No one can be sick or have an infection.
In a week or so I will begin a new regimen to stay healthy. Washing hands frequently. A small bottle of hand sanitizer in my pocket at all times. Running away from someone who looks slightly sick or has a cold.
I am so thankful that I know my donor. He is an awesome guy and we talk on the phone all the time. He is extremely patient and seems excited to want to donate his kidney to me. I wonder what that feels like? I am amazed that he is setting his work and home schedule around this amazing gift. Who am I to deserve something like this? I haven't done anything special, I am not a genius who is going to invent something to save the world. I am just a regular guy.
The bible says that the Lord loves a joyful giver. I certainly know someone who the Lord loves!
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