Dreams

Only five days until Sept. 14th, the date my kidney transplant is scheduled. It is really an exciting time for me to dream about all the possibilities that the new kidney will bring.

The things I dream about are not having to be tied down to a machine 6 nights a week on dialysis. I have always told people that six nights per week on dialysis didn't seem that bad. But now that there is the possibility of it ending, it is an amazing amount of time that I was on that machine. It almost seems overwhelming to think back about how much time I have had to endure on the couch at our house, but even more so how much time my wife has gone through prepping the machine, waiting while I dialyze, and then the end of the treatment process too.

Don't get me wrong, I am thankful that they technology exists to keep me alive, but will be thankful when I am no longer dependent on that.

I dream about going out in the evening. This is something that I of course used to take for granted. A quick trip to the store to pick up milk, dinner with my wife at a restaurant, going over to a friends house. Even just driving with my headlights on. I love the feeling of warm summer nights with the car window down and the air being pushed through the car, sometimes cheating and putting the heater on to balance the temperature. Ah, I miss that.

I dream of being able to do projects around the house after the kids have gone to bed.

To actually have an evening of reading, with two hands on a book. I used to try to read on dialysis, but it is tough to hold a book with one hand and turn the pages. Not that it is impossible, but it can be challenging, especially when your hand cramps up.

I dream of drinking as much water as I want.

A couple of years ago, before I found out my kidneys weren't working, I worked at an Audio/Visual rental place. One show we had to set up for was, ironically, the National Kidney Foundation Fundraiser. It was on the lot of Warner Bros and it was an easy gig. I remember one of the main speakers at the fundraiser was George Lopez. He tells the story that he needed a kidney and his wife donated one to him and the one thing he was totally amazed by was the amount of energy he suddenly got back. I wonder what that is going to be like. Will the same happen to me? So I dream about energy.

I also dream about surfing more. I have been surfing since I was 12 years old and love it. I love surfing on short boards, long boards and just sitting in the water with friends. But with my kidney failure I just don't have as much energy as I once did. So I dream about the times in the future that I will have paddling out. A great addition is that the donor who is giving me the kidney loves surfing too. Although it is not verified I am hoping that some of the surf "stoke" gets transferred over to me through the kidney.

But some of the dreams that I am most excited about I am not even aware of yet. The new aspects of life that will be revealed to me after the transplant, but in my kidney failed perspective can't even imagine yet. I am sure that many of those dreams will be revealed to me as I go through them.